Ask Yourself: Why Am I Here?

Is it because I need help with something OR because I am looking for something?

Either Way


is probably here to help. 

We Do NOT Offer

Lawn Mowing Services (Allergies) // Sexual, Fitness, or Assassin-for-Hire Services //Quality Math Tutoring //Skilled Musical Instrument Training // Bounty Hunting or Vampire Slaying // Legal Detective Work // Moving Services // Home Repair or Delivery Services // Garbage Disposal // House Cleaning // Tree Trimming // Laboratory Science (unless lab is provided) // Experienced Laboratory Science // Taxidermy or Meat Preparation // Hunting or Fishing // Medicine or Drugs // Licensed Architectural Services or Capitalist-Friendly Financial Advice // Other Assorted “Wetworks” // or  Anything Requiring a “Licence,” //  and most importantly //  To Work for Free.

This list may not be comprehensive.

we do provide

Book and Story Consultations // Literacy Tutoring // Copy Editing and Proof Reading Services  // Writing-for-Hire // Bad “Magic” Acts // Amateur Sleuthing // Poetry and Short Story Workshopping // Story Structuring // Ghostwriting // Amateur Ghost Hunting // Performance Art // Critiques and Honest Constructive Criticism (Kind but not Sentimental) // Philosophical Contemplation and Ethical Consultation // Post-Inspirational Public Speaking // Stand Up Comedy // Comedy Workshopping //Awkward and Rewarding Conversation // Research Services // Strange Interior Design // Idea Generation and Brain Storming // Co-writing // Writer Rooming // Hosting and MCing // DJ Services (Equipment Not Provided and Technical Skill Not Guaranteed) // Unorthodox Dance Lessons (No Formal or Informal Training) // History Lessons // Tutoring in the Humanities // Tutoring in Non-Laboratory Sciences // Amateur and Dangerous Mad Sciencing // Cultural Studies // Religious Discourse (from the vantage of no particular faith) // Spiritual Ritual Services and Fortune Telling // Amateur Flower Arrangements //  Devil and Angel Advocacy // Unconventional Marketing // Weird Schemes // Abnormal Magic // Short and Long Plays (for Stage, Screen, or Radio) // Skilled Word Play // Mad-Libbing // Surrealist Meditation // Esoteric Simpletonisms // Vegetarian & Vegan Cooking // Song Writing // Filmmaking Services // Photography Services // Acting Services // Mild Ethical Con-Artistry (no Pickpocketing) // Eccentric Maps of Imaginary Places // Art Shows // Unorthodox Graphic Design // Creative Event Planning // Invention // Re-invention // Community Building // Status Quo Dismantling // Opinions, Well Composed // Sinister Experimentation (see Abnormal Magic) //  finally, and most importantly, // Nothing For Free.

This list is exhausting but not exhaustive. Availability for a particular offered field varies based on workload, clients’ needs, and whim. Services not available to close relatives.


Are You Sick & Tired of the Conventional Online Service Rigmarole?


is probably here to help.

Contact Us Today

Are You Human?

Would You Like To Be Something Else?

That’s Probably Impossible, Or At The Very Least, We Are Not Able To Help With Radical Transformation, Though We May Be Able To Help With Smaller Transformations That’ll Get You On Your Way, But Primarily, 

We Offer Help With Writing, Reading, Research, Learning, and Creative Solutions

Contact Us Today