As a wholly unnecessary unholy creation, the Bureau is unlike and entirely unrelated to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We here at the Bureau are charged with electricity and treason. What we say is shocking and what we do is unreasonable. We lack ethics but our morals are derived from sounds. With our backs against the wall, we’ll admit to fomenting anarchist spirits and fermenting luddite elixirs. Our original purpose has been lost in time. We’ve existed since the Middle Ages, but this is an imprecise term that implies a known beginning and a known end. Our Middle Age is not the European Medieval Period, though it may be sometimes. We are heretics, burned. We are hectic infidels. We are lucky ducks sometimes and unlucky in love other times. What we need from you is simple: hypercritical devotion, allegiance without belief, faith with question and commentary, and a sensual self-destructive love that is by no means loyal. We favor disloyalty. We’e a cult you can’t belong to but we desperately need followers. Financial assistance would be nice, as we’re not allowed to hold jobs or public office, though many of us do. We break rules.
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